“Chris failed today. But we all learned from it.”

…he must be pretty proud of his accomplishments with the sandwich, because he REALLY wanted this blog post written. And he thinks that because the pictures were taken with my camera, I should be the one to do it. I think ShannonWithAJeep has to bear some portion of responsibility here since he was the one who actually took the pictures.  But yes- back to the story.

A couple weeks ago…. <goes to check datestamp>… all right, fine. About a month ago, Chris decreed that it was to be Papa Bob’s BBQ for lunch.  I’d never heard of the place, but the others kept babbling something about “The Destroyer.”  Turns out when we get there that there’s The Destroyer…and then there’s the Ultimate Destroyer.  I want to start by telling you about The Destroyer “It’ll Sink Ya!” so you can have a frame of reference here.

DESTROYER (Any 3 Meats) 11.00
THE MEGA SANDWICH (Forget The Other Sandwiches…This Is The One You Want). Pick Three
Meats, Or Triple Down On One Meat. Just Realize, You Should Have Some Left For Lunch Tomorrow

There. That should put you in the mood.  Now. The ULTIMATE Destroyer is another matter entirely.  Okay, I could copy all this text and add another picture, but I really can’t entirely do it justice.  So go here to read about it yourself.  But I will include a picture so that those of you who are simply too lazy busy to click that link at least have some idea what the fuss is about.  It’s a huge freakin’ sandwich. $48 if you can’t eat it all in 45 minutes, free if you can. No one has yet. Seriously, go click the link and at least read the disclaimer they make you sign.

And Chris wanted to try it. Begged, really.  …okay, fine. We bullied him into it. He agreed on the condition that he not be financially responsible for his failure. Unfortunately for him, he went out for lunch in a big group, and (since we’re engineers here, we’re pretty good at math)  we determined that $48 / [Lots] < [Entertainment Value].  So there we go.  ShannonWithAJeep documented the event in pictures, and I wrote down quotes.  All for you.

“We’ll write VSL on your forehead after you pass out.” –Ryan

“Break my legs if you have to, just avoid the stomach [when it comes to physical abuse]” –Chris

“I’m so sickened by the thought of this, I want to get the smallest possible thing…” –David

“That is a serious [bleeping] sandwich.” –ShannonWithaJeep

“What the -? Is that a hamburger patty?”
“Three of them to be exact” <with very sweet smile> –Chris and employee

“Have you ever done anything like this to train?” –Ryan

“I feel really bad talking a friend into this…”
“Do you think we should defriend him and then refriend him afterward?”
“Yeah, definitely”  –ShannonS and Joy

“I must have missed that part in my data structures class.”
“You were probably in a meat coma at the time”  –Chris and David

“I am a [bleep][bleep] meat pioneer here!” –Chris

“I’ll do it in a year. A year from today.”  –Nick  (You heard it here first, kids — 8/14/10!)

“Hugh, I’m enjoying the hell out of myself.” –Chris

“There’s just so much food here I don’t know if I can finish it all…” –Adam D, looking at his small plate of food

“Why do I let you people do these things?” –Chris

“This is probably snake.”
“Does it matter at this point?”
“…no.”  — Chris and Ryan

“You just gotta stop thinkin’ about it and start swallowin’ it” — Employee

“You’ve almost inspired me to do this, because I know I could beat you so bad at this.” –Don  (I interpret this as him asking to join Nick in his quest on 8/14/10)

Yes, yes, I can hear you now. “Where are all the pictures of him eating it? Where are the pictures of him failing? Looking green? Looking like he very much might need the Papa Bob’s Upchuck Bucket??”  Well, unfortunately boys and girls, my camera chose that moment to run out of battery. So blame the other fools around the table for not having anything else appropriate for the job.

“No, I mean once you’re unconscious.”
“What’re you going to do, work my jaw?” –Adam R and Chris

“You failed the worst, but you failed the worst in the best possible way.”  –Joy

And, since he gave us such an enjoyable (and long!) lunch, I’ll let Chris have the last word:

“I think I may have meat poisoning.” –Chris

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